My T has given me all three kinds of compliments. She's pretty free and flowing with her compliments, and they always feel genuine.

Personal Qualities: She's told that I have both academic intelligence and emotional intelligence, she's told me that I'm mature, self-aware, conscientious, trustworthy, loyal, and compassionate. She's also told me that I have a great sense of humor, I'm easy to get along with, fun to be around, and "one of a kind" and "definitely not boring." She's also told me that her and I have a special relationship that she doesn't have with a lot of clients, that she cares about me very much, and that after I stop therapy she still wants me to update her on my life every so often so she can see where I go in the world.

In therapy: She has told me that I'm willing to be honest and open in a way that few clients are. She says that she can trust me to be authentic with her, and to have the courage to share the hard stuff. She also says she appreciates it when I tell her that something she has said or done has bothered me and I want to discuss it with her so that we can work through it. She says not everyone can calmly and respectfully talk through a disagreement and come out the other side feeling more connected, so it says something about me and about our relationship that we can.

Appearance: She tells me frequently that I'm "attractive" or "gorgeous." Last week, I showed her some pictures I took of me and the little girl I mentor, and she said "oh wow! you look like a model! like a pretty blonde barbie doll!" I sort of gave her a look like "uhhh" and she said "it's a compliment! I wouldn't mind if someone called me a barbie doll!" So, I laughed and took it in the spirit it was intended. She will also compliment my clothes pretty frequently or say "gee, you look nice today" or "those are new earrings; I like them" and reach out and touch my jewelry or feel the fabric of a new skirt. I give her the occasional compliment as well-- like, last session, I told her that I liked her necklace.

I think my T is just naturally someone who likes to give compliments, and gives them freely. They always make me feel good, so I appreciate them.