Individuals I have been in contact with regarding my trans nature have suggested that I just gradually loosen up a bit & allow my inner trans-ness to emerge just a little. This was a central theme of the discussions I had with my last therapist. (I stopped seeing her several months back, because I didn't feel like our sessions were going anywhere, & I couldn't justify the cost.) It makes perfect sense to do what these people suggest. And, I fact, as I have mentioned elsewhere, I have done this to an extent.

But one of my fears, with regard to allowing some of my trans-ness to emerge, has been that anything I would do would never be enough. If I did "A", I'd yearn for "B". And if I allowed myself to do "B", then I'd want to advance to "C" & "D", etc. And as I have in fact begun to peel back the layers of the onion, so to speak, this is exactly what I have experienced. Each little thing I do, while it is pleasant, just leaves me wanting to go further. And this has convinced me that nothing short of full & complete transition would ever quell the craving.

And so I wonder if other trans individuals find that they can be satisified with less than total & complete transition, & if so how they managed to get to that place, because for me such a haven just does not seem to exist.