It is clear that she is struggling with battles of her own. But it's NOT okay how she is and has been treating you. Don't let your kids hold you back from this continuing. The bad is extreme and is outweighing the good. You don't deserve to have her being so disloyal. Yes, she's appeared to make an effort to change and to get help in the past but she hasn't stuck with it or have been working her treatment like she should. You're being weighed down by the chains she is burdening you with. Your thread says "Please help BEFORE I divorce my wife" but I think divorcing her is actually the most practical option in this scenario. She isn't fit to be caring for your children at the moment anyway.