I hope u don't get mad at me but it's probably bc u haven't taken ur meds in a couple days. It's just gonna continue on this cycle until u take the meds. I know it's not easy and it sucks that we have to take meds but the alternative for me is hospitalization and starting all over. And with u it's FORCED hospitalization and then you'll be right where u are today. You really need to take ur meds on schedule everyday. I know it sucks. I'm on more meds than u. I have to take a ms, a ap, congentin for the side effects from the ap, an AD, and sleep meds. I really think if u take ur meds as prescribed things will only improve. You may be able to go back to college or anything u want. Ur still so young. I'd hate to see u waste ur life on this med merry go round. I know it's hard.