It took me 6 months to realize the extent to which my ex-T really had hurt me and then another 4 months to get up the courage to meet with her to talk about a few things and stand my ground. Then, another 7 months to write her a letter in which I let her know how she had hurt me and how I had grown thanks to new T and was moving past our time together. After this (i.e., 18 months later), particularly after reading her ridiculous response to my letter, I was over her mostly. For the next 6 months or so, I occasionally would get angry at her for something. But after about 3 years I was completely over her and never think of her.

It takes time - as long as it takes... And that's OK.