I'm not a regular poster. I'm sorry. I just have this large problem that arose today.

My fiance and I are splitting up for good this time. We have had many fights over his controlling behavior and violent tendencies. We have two small children, one being mine from a toxic marriage and the other being his with me.

I made the decision when I asked him how he felt about us and he made no reply. I tried to question further, but he tackled me against the bed and threatened to break my neck because I was "yelling". I wasn't. I told him to leave. He grabbed my big box TV and threw it. I went outside and told my mom to take my son to the neighbor's house. I expected my new ex to at least ask if he could say something to our son. Instead, he asked, "How much child support do you want?"

Despite his behavior...I feel torn to pieces. I thought I would feel better than this. I miss him. I miss him a lot. I can't and I won't take him back. He's too violent. I just wonder what could make this hurt so badly.