Teddy, wow. I could have written your post myself.

For me, I've found that to start the process towards change, I have made small, manageable short term goals. For me, this includes taking as many jobs as possible (I work on a call-in basis). My therapist is supporting me through this by moving my sessions around my work hours and sometimes we may reschedule several times.

I've also had to learn to accept that yes, I've wasted part of my life, but I don't have to waste the rest of it. It's forced me to really consider what I want from life vs. living for someone else all the time. It's hard to change perspective, so it does take time.

I want to encourage you that it can happen though, because it's happening in my life.