Quote:
Originally Posted by Petra5ed
This seems mean and not really appropriate. I don't think a T should express any opinion on a persons physical appearance unless it is to point out clothing choices or health issues. For example, I could see if you wore baggy sweats with stains on them, your T might want to bring that up and ask why you might be doing that. Or, maybe you look extremely fatigued. Whether someone's features and mannerisms are attractive or not is entirely subjective, for example I've fallen for several people who my friends have said were not attractive and vice versa... so I think sharing his opinion on that would just be mean. Any way you could have misinterpreted him?
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I would not like T to discuss my clothing choices, since it's not something that is important or interesting to me. I always wear more or less the same, jeans and a T-shirt/sweater, since I go from T straight to work - I have no dress sense, and no need for one. The only thing that matters is that the clothes are clean and not torn. And T did not actually express any opinion at all about me, it was how he responded to what I said, with an observation about attractiveness and lack of attractiveness and what it implies and doesn't imply. But yes, as you say (and as feralkittymom said) it could be my interpretation of his words rather than his intention.
And to pick up on what Amelia wrote, the fact that I know myself to be unattractive and basically unlovable (in RL) stems from actual knowledge, but that's not something I am prepared to discuss in a very public place like this. But it's definitely true that we learn about ourselves from other people's reactions to us, positive or negative. It's not the only way we can know things about ourselves, though. I wear a PhD ring so I have some kind of indication that I am probably fairly intelligent. Doesn't mean that I don't like it when people compliment my intelligence, though
