Quote:
Originally Posted by mjrwraith
I know exactly what you mean Hbomb. I try to change the way I think and feel and I fail. Then that just starts the whole cycle again. You just wish for one day you had someone to just listen to your heart, look into your eyes and tell you it's ok. Why is it you say I have cancer and everyone is aww you poor thing. You say you're bipolar and you just get the cold shoulder. Well in the words of Slipknot, " F*** it all, f*** this world, f*** everything that you stand for. Don't belong, don't exist, don't give a s*** and don't f***ing judge me!"
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Judgment is unfortunately much more readily available than insight and understanding. It's like people hear mental illness and they just flip a switch and look at you in a completely different light. Hiding it is even worse for me because being in the state I'm in now I am not up to par and I usually am highly functioning and active. I'm just a shell that wants to curl up on the couch or in the bed and have someone hold me right now. I am slow at work and make lots of mistakes, and I just feel like an alien.
I have a doc appt tomorrow thank God! I feel like I've been waiting for an eternity but its only been a few weeks. I've slid quite a bit but fortunately the meds I am going to discuss with the doc tend to work quite fast for me.