I have been going to doctors off and on for years. I am completely a mess when it comes to ordering all the paperwork and long-term focus of things and I tend to wander away from things I start.

I guess I could get my records from where I went in the last place I lived. Is there a way to look at your own life-long, medical record? That would seem unrealistic. I haven't been compliant to meds though. Isn't that I great symptom though, of being unable to manage yourself adequately without help? My family and friends are supportive, but I don't have a solid rock of a person that helps keep things together for me. I've always felt like I needed someone like this in my life. I tend to get very needy when depressed (really???) and have worn out a lot of my relationships that way. I don't blame, I do understand how hard I am to live with.

Anyway, I see from some other threads that getting a lawyer is always a good idea. Guess I have to drag my *** out in to the world and do something for myself. Why am I so avoidant?? The ability to observe and yet feel and be powerless to do is maddening.

An