I can totally relate. I feel passionately sometimes that meds are really a crapshoot anyway and who can know when nothing works the same for anyone. But being unstable and unable to function is something I've only reached at times when I'm not on meds or have stopped taking them and destabilized myself. There will be ups and downs in life but they are different than being imbalanced, I think.

I'm convinced (as always when I get depressed) that I need to be medicated for life, but I still don't really like it.