What an interesting question! My therapist doesn't shower me with compliments. Rather, I'd say they are few and far between. But I'll never forget what happened in the first year of therapy. I was in excruciating pain. I'm a writer. It's how I process things. So when in the throes of pain that had my psyche swirling, I would write her an email. It was very therapeutic for me to do that, but I was somewhat ashamed about it. Ashamed that I *needed* to do it, and really afraid that when she saw my name in her mailbox that she was rolling her eyes and thinking "Oh brother, not again!" A lot of times my emails were quite long.

The emailing wasn't something we discussed. But after months and months of this, my anxiety about it surfaced and I referred to it, making a comment about it must be wearing her out, and apologizing for doing it. She quite spontaneously smiled and said "No... please don't stop writing! I look forward to your emails... you are gifted." Oh man, that meant everything in the world to me! After that, she made a couple of other comments at different times characterizing my writing as something that "took her breath away." Of course, we're talking about things I've written her that have involved intense experiences and pain.

The spontaneity of her comment, and it being directly related to something that was real to me is what made it feel genuine. It's not like she was trying to make me feel good about something. It was not patronizing. If my therapist were doing that then it would feel weird.