Here is the background. I met a girl online 4 months ago who lives 4 hours away. We talked and text for about 2 months. Was very open and honest with each other, ask questions on what we like about each other and what we look for in a partner. Basically in short became i guess intimate and felt like we have known each other forever!

Then we made plans for me to come up for a weekend. My plans changed for a emergency, so we planned 2 weeks later, then bam- her mother passed away (which was her best friend). She actually seemed like she took it way better than I expected (realized it was shock). She talked to me and believe it or not she wanted me to come up 2 weeks later(valentines day dinner was our first date). I did, had a great time, lot of laughs and a few tears. She told me that for some reason she felt like she could share anything with me and felt comfortable.

After that we tried to plan to get together again, but she now has to work at the family biz, and her job, take care of her 2 girls, be there for her dad. our talks have gone to all text, and she has opened up she is having a hard time and she knows that the shock has wore off.

Its been 4 months, we are compatible, and feel like we meet the requirements of what is important to each other- which she has a HUGE heart, she has been selfless being there for her sister and Dad. She actually inspires me.

It started to weigh on me what now? I am 38 she is 34. my text were getting shorter and she ask if everything was ok right away. I let her know that i have been think about what we are doing. So we opened up about it. She said I am so glad I told here and things were great for a week, and then she was distant. I know her emotions are day to day, and I dont know whether to be funny and cut up with her to cheer her ups or just be encouraging.

Well I told her that things were on my mind again and I didnt want to put any pressure on her but we havent attempted to try to make plans to see each other, or talk more. The next day I was very honest and said, I know she is not in the position to offer more and its beyond her control but i have to step away. She sounded like she got choked up and said she had the kids there and can we talk tomorrow. We did and she said she understands and she is sorry that she can give me more and its not fair to me. She was sorry that we came into each others lives when we did. She feels like she hasnt had time and time and space to grieve yet. Heart is so heavy that she cant offer anything or let her get close to anyone she feels. She kinda doesnt know what she really feels (which somewhat is the really for this post)

I ended it on this note- I care her above all else and I want her to take care of herself, but Its tough not to completely close the door and I would be there for her as a friend and if she ever feels like she is in a better place perhaps she can tell me if we want to be more. She said she agreed but she has no idea how long that would take. It was funny we both after an hour, tried to get off the phone but neither one of us wanted to hang up or say goodbye. We joked about it.

Anyway, maybe this is more of getting this off my chest but maybe anyone can relate? Any thoughts? Advice?