Yesterday, I was kicked out of an online community (reality show forum) I was a part of for over three years. Sure it was just online, but over three years is a long time for anywhere. I grew fond of a number of people there throughout that time, including some of the people who ran the site.

Now, I've been struggling for a while, with certain issues. Since my therapists aren't available 24/7, I had to find someone else to talk to about them. Being a part of that site for so long helped me form trust and connections, or what I thought were connections, with people. Not only that, but my specific issues were the kind that most people don't want to talk about. So I told them everything. Then the next day I notice that I've been kicked out. This is the final message they left me:

"After being held hostage by your rants and your menacing creepiness, and after multiple discussions with staff about your behavior, we’ve reached the end of our patience. It’s time for you to move on. Please seek psychiatric help. NOW."

I feel betrayed. I feel like people I put trust in and was nothing but kind to have turned on me. And I am still angry. I still feel like ****. Especially since this isn't the first damn time something like this happened. I thought I was past those times. But apparently not.

I don't want to get into specifics here in the public forum about what my so-called issues I needed help with are, but if anyone wants to PM me, I can explain.

But, soon enough now, I feel like I'll be finished. Done. being nice to people gets me nowhere, and I'm sick of people who I thought had my back turning on me. I still find it hard to do **** I usually do daily. It's really distressing. They think I'm crazy now, probably. So damn it.