Please don't misunderstand I did not say you were suicidal, SI is self injury. Its often from a desire to control things around us and I would never presume to say how you are feeling. I'm only saying these are possible.

Like others here I'm concerned about that statement that you want to take more because you have not gotten the outcome you desire. Sleep. I've known people who have done just that and the outcome was unintended OD. The consequences were a long hospitalization, supervised medication and the loss of trust. One person I'm thinking of she had taken exactly the same amounts before with no problem, then for what ever reason that one time it became an OD.

The lack of sleep is something many of us here have struggled with, it's draining and it robs us of the ability to see clearly and make good choices.