I think eventually we realize we DO have a choice. We don't always have a choice of what's been done to us by others, where we live, how much money we have, bills we have, suffering and pain that's caused by illness or ourselves harming ourselves... I think that's where our own choice comes in. To choose not to let any past circumstances that have led us to this point, allow any time or place in our minds. We have only this moment. Sometimes it is a tough moment, but really, if you really think about your surroundings, what you see hear, taste, smell... now.... its all we have. We either accept it, make the most of this moment, or we lose because we are lost in worry about the future or reliving the past. I know there is pain, that won't go away at times, but I think acceptance of whatever you are feeling is better than trying to chase it away.
I had some great advice once. I was as anxious as I thought anyone could feel.
"just allow the feelings to be there. be aware of what you are feeling. don't try to fight it, see where it takes you"... eventually those feelings fade and new ones come.
I don't know where all this is coming from tonight or if it makes any difference. I have been at the point myself of wanting to give up so many times in life, and literally gave up, but I'm still here. Thankfulness for ONE thing, seems to be a start for me. Even if it is just the colour of the sky, the beauty of something else to see. This forum and people here to talk to that do their best to understand you, that have been in tough places and still reach out.
Keep doing that. Sorry for the length of this.