Now that therapy is over, it is those positive compliments that come to mind and get me unstuck. I heard the negative voice from mom all my life and from myself all my life, because that's all I new. Originally we went for family therapy, because I was having parenting issues. When it was just me I would always say what a lousy mother I was, and torture myself for being a failure at such an important job. Also, at that point my kid was saying I was a lousy mother and person. My therapist never said no, you aren't or yes, you are. This went on forever six months, then finally during one of my self flagellations she said, "You are a wonderful mother." and has said it many times since. A few months after she first said it, I told her that I thought she thought I was a bad mother, or maybe just an adequate one, even though the first six months she kept telling me I gave my kid a safe and secure base, and we were working to repair a rupture. I just kept hearing I was a bad MOM. She told me that I was in a place during those months that I would not have been able to hear that I was a good mom. So, I'm grateful for those complements, and am no longer cannon fodder for all the negative messages that came from my mom.