Quote:
Originally Posted by RadioGuy
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[...]What infuriates my wife and me is that his stock answer when I challenge him on something like this that he wasn't forthright about is, "Well, you know how your memory is and how you forget things." It just drives me nuts when he does this.
Yes, as with many people with bipolar and other mental illnesses, my memory is horrible compared to what it used to be. But his saying he was moving was something I would remember! It's maddening to have him chalk up my feelings to just a poor memory.
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My wonderfully supportive wife is right--I've just got to forge forward. But like I told her I just don't know how to talk with him next. Do I pretend it never happened? Do I just never talk about it? It just seems so weird in my mind when I think of next seeing him. He's having cornea transplant surgery Wednesday so I've got to call Tuesday. What a situation. I just hate stuff like this...it really tears/wears me down.
You are so kind to care. Thank you. Wishing you well.  |
I think when he blamed it on your memory he was being inauthentic and invalidating, and at the same time undermining his relationship with you. He needs to reconsider his response, even though the complete truth may have been awkward for him to tell you.
I would carry on like that conversation never happened. This always can be readdressed with him at a better future date. I would support him specifically in his surgery. IMO that is all you need to be concerned with at this time. Keep focus on the part that you can handle the best.
FWIW
tucson