Sitting behind a woman and her young son of about 5 years old, hearing snippets of conversation.
The mother to son;
Its all your fault YOUR FAULT that daddies left, he left because of YOU.
Poor kid. Got the world on his shoulders and hes 5. He is being filled with shame. Like he asked to be born.

In the Park, a girl about 11 falls over, hurts her knee and drops her icecream. Mother; "You Stupid Girl, you are such a stupid girl!" The girl starts to cry now while being dragged along by her hand. What is wrong with people?
No comfort. No concern. Poor kid.

Its possible these mothers were just having a bad day, but its that type of emotional abuse (if its frequent/daily) that causes toxic shame, self hatred, lack of self esteem (I'm useless) and depression.
Its also the type of abuse, and it is abuse to belittle,shame and blame a child who is helpless against the adults around it, that goes unnoticed. Its the same type of secret subtle ridicule I suffered all my life from both parents.

I remember getting upset over something while I was on a day out with my parents. I was about 8/9, I started to cry, I remember my father saying "Everyone is looking at you thinking what a silly fuss, look, everyone is LAUGHING at you!"

I remember suddenly feeling very self-conscience, wishing I could just disappear, the shame, oh how I cringed inside.

To be shamed like that was not unusual.

I wonder, is it that treatment that caused my social phobia, anxiety, low self esteem depression and self hatred.

I think it was.

Some people have no idea of how to be parents.
I do now however after doing an online quiz (they ticked the boxes) believe my parents were both narcissists, both self absorbed without empathy.

Do you feel your parents attitudes caused your low self esteem/self hatred. Do you hate them for it?