I can relate to that feeling so much! When I am on the edge of a manic episode I describe the feeling as "watching the world from above." That is the only way I can accurately put that feeling into words.

I know how hard it is to keep taking medications when they just don't seem to help, or the side effects seem too much to handle. It really stinks! However, I really think you should discuss going off them with your PDoc. For your own safety at least. I know if I miss a couple doses for whatever reason my mood tends to **** fast. I think that is why PDocs prefer you to ween slowly most times or find a better fit.

Do you thibk you drink too much? Is it a problem if your life? Do you feel like alcohol interferes with your medications? Those are all questions I would be asking myself if I was in your situation. I can't drink though because of my medications.