Hi Sparky, I'm sorry you lost the battle but you tried to beat it didn't you? I know you tried!! And that is the main thing!!
Sometiimes you can just do all you can, which I'm sure you did!!
But you're right it was a battle, just a battle, and there may be more but in that there will be other battles you will be able to win!! Just because this time........doesn't at all mean that next time............
And make sure that you're really acknowledging and giving yourself real credit for those victories. They matter!!
As for your bf, there has to be something special about him for you to have been able to tell him before about what's been going on for you. I'm sure you wouldn't be telling just anyone about it, right? So maybe have a little faith in that??
I'm wondering if you've really included him in the rest though as you seem to be seeing it as just/more your problem??? Perhaps have a think about different ways he may be able to support you, both day-to-day and in relation to the SI. Afterall he may not know himself.
That might even help him feel less useless, powerless (??) in all of this too.
But really good on you for not wanting to hide this, just make sure you get all the support you can!!
Alison