Hi Rhap,
I support this journey. I want to say that in all honesty I can relate with numbers 1 and 2 and 5 personally.

I am so very sorry that you have gone through what you have endured. Nobody should ever even have to say the words you posted above. To know that you have been wronged in so many ways at the hands of others is deeply saddening to me. I know it all too well. It's worsened even more with the lack of familial support which I can also relate with.
You really do need a support though, and if your husband is related to these issues (as you have revealed) I hope you have a therapist or someone trusted that it accessible to you anytime. PC of course is here but I mean someone in your city/area with which to begin this journey.
I wish I could give more support and say things that were profound enough that inside would make you feel relief, but I know this isn't possible.
This is a very courageous thing to do for yourself. If you are going to keep this thread and reread it, I want to say this:

However dark it gets, however lost you are. You are never alone.

You are strong enough to keep going through the evil...if you face it, you will gain more strength.

You absolutely deserve to be happy.

You are very brave.

Thank you for being here.