Your feelings are completely understandable! I would venture to say you have been physically and emotionally neglected. I've only recently come to grips with the fact that I was neglected, and I'm only now starting to heal from it. My T told me in our last session that neglect often is harder on children than abuse is. I never used to understand why, because I was in denial about being neglected but I was totally open about the fact that I was abused. Admitting the neglect carried a LOT more shame for me, and feelings that are a LOT harder to bear than the feelings that being abused brought, for the most part. I do not say this to minimize the effects of abuse, because I know they are terrible, too. I only say it to acknowledge the seriousness of the effects of neglect. It has a very crippling effect.

Is there any chance of getting your mom into a retirement community or something like that? Or her own apartment? Are there any life skills training programs nearby that could help you out? If any of those things are accessible to you, I highly reccomend using them. The best thing you could do for yourself at this point would be to self-protect.

If you want to talk more about the feelings that this is bringing up, I am SO there for you. I know how much it hurts and aches and shames you. Feel free to post again, or to pm me!

(((((((((((hugs)))))))) if ok

Angela

-comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable-