Hi Skeezyks, (still not stalking you!! )
It sounds like you've been hitting some really hard times but managing to kick into the default "survivor mode"?? Now, not taking anything at all away from that "survivor mode", that is massive!!! That is a real achievement!!!
But I know I'd want more for you than "survivor mode" so maybe.......although it may sound impossible........maybe aim at looking even past that? Now I know, real depression isn't a choice, you can't just choose to have it, or just choose not to have it. And I know someone just walking up to you/saying.........isn't just going to make it all A OK. It can be a long journey. But got to start somewhere.........
You're right, some things you just can't work through alone, and you're right some things someone else can't just "fix" but if you can maybe find the help you need to start on that journey..........
Maybe you've had experience of hotlines, therapists, doctors (??) who haven't been that helpful?? But that doesn't need to mean that you are the problem, you haven't been "helpable" it more means that you just haven't found the right help yet. So in that case, why should you "accept" the way things are, push on and be "subjected" to all of this?? You DESERVE more!!
If a doctor, helpline.........isn't helping tell them, insist, it's their job to help afterall!! But above everything speak up!! You know how you're feeling, you know you shouldn't have to be feeling like this.....just know as well that it does matter that you get the help you need/the help you should have.
Obviously, no magic wands "and all that" out there but you DO DESERVE something to help you on that journey a bit better.
And you know, you have us as well right???!!!! Anything we can do to try to help....listen, understand, support you.......whatever!!!



Alison