nottrustin ~ sure...judging myself because I have expectations of perfection...and everyone around me tells me the "right" thing is to not have sex. Everyone in my life is christian - my recovery group, my counselor, my school, my friends, and obviously my church. So it definitely leads to self judgment.

I hate feeling this way -- I honestly really enjoy being with him, and I feel like it should be ok for me to enjoy it.

I've spent my life being the "good Christian" - the "good girl" and the "good wife" - doing things the "right" way. And I would like to just enjoy myself for once. SO yes, I probably am judging myself...but I also fear judgment from everyone else.