This won't be a very helpful observation... but she is worried that her depression is effecting you, and yet doesn't want the stigma of seeking help? Better that she and you suffer from an illness that is treatable?

OK That's just me blowing off a little steam. Likely her "because of me" comment was more to make you feel guilty than sincere concern.

She won't get any help until she herself is ready to (if ever) but if she "softens" to the idea you can let her know that it would be private and you would like to see her feeling better and wouldn't think bad of her for getting treatment. And the truth is it does effect you too.

But don't let anything she says or does... guilt trip, labeling it a bad idea, whatever, keep you from getting help for yourself.

It does sound like you know you want and need some help.

I hope you can establish some boundries of privacy... that's important not even counting having a means to talk about this subject... just in general you and your husband will need to be able to have privacy. Does she use the computer? You can always password protect if she does, and thankfully the internet gives an option for some connection to people without overheard voices or things.

You may also try to find a support group in your area... a group for depression or a group for caregivers or whatever. It helps to have real contact with real people who understand. Your mom doesn't have to know, tell her you're taking a weekly pottery class or something (and then stop at Pottery Barn every few weeks and pick up the "pot you have been working on" )

How does your husband feel about all this? Is he supportive of you and of the idea of therapy? It will be great to have his support and help, for having someone nearby who understands and also someone who could help run "interference" for you.

Good luck.

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