Gr3tta,
First, many many hugs.

I think starting the recovery process is a lot like deciding to have a child. There's never a perfect time to do it ... there's always a complicating factor, whether it's job loss, or not earning "enough", or the house is too small, etc. If you wait for all things to be ready, you'll be too old to have the kid. So what do you do? You get pregnant, hope and pray for the best, and then make it work. As the child grows, so do you. Maybe you earn more, maybe you can tolerate more, maybe you find a supportive friend or group. But for most people, having kids is a rewarding decision.

I think the same goes for recovery. At some point, you have to just do it, even if you want your weight to be lower. Even if you haven't received the "sign." Even if you think you don't deserve it. Because you do, and as the recovery child grows, you'll see that you DO deserve it, and you'll be happy you took that first step, even when you couldn't see the staircase and were terrified of falling into an endless pit.

More hugs