I think you summed it up pretty well. I don't think we'll ever really be over it. I'm thankful for the progress I've made and there are numerous consequences of SI that I am grateful to no longer have to deal with, but that doesn't make me miss it less. I will always remember the calm, and high, and peace cutting gave me. At my therapists we kind of talked about this today. My arm feels blank. I want to cut for the sake of cutting, but usually I do want to cut for the other reasons. However, I know my imagination always makes it out to be better than what it was and it's easy to forget the pain of lying and hiding and trying to cover it up and the shame of it all. I just wanted you to know you aren't alone. I actually go to AA meetings and just refer to it as drinking (which is easy because drinking the blood was also an addiction for me) and it's amazing the similarities. Also, Celebrate Recovery is good if you are a Christian. Having groups like this help me talk some of this out when I need to and reminds me that I am not alone. August will be nine years without cutting, and it is easy to get hung up on how badly I still want it and that this will probably stick with me for life. Sorry I don't have any real insight or helpful hints on how to get 'over' it. But hang in there. Life is and can be so much better than what it was with the cutting.