Thank you, faerie, you've been really helpful! One question:

"Actually, that's not true. Learning anger management is your responsability, not hers."

I agree, my anger outbursts are my problem, what I meant was that she must know I'm not yelling because it makes me feel good, thus she mustn't yell back at me. Even with CBT it would take time, so what's it gonna be? Are we going to yell at each other until neighbours call the police or something? Yet it might be entirely my fault, and I'm wrong in this post.