It is probably going to take time till you find the right meds, but it will happen (I recall you saying about the list of different ones you tried).

For me, I've just had the one change; from citalopram (which being from the UK as well you probably know is the generic 'starter pack' that gps put us on, to mirtazapine)... and that has elevated some of the pressure.

So yes, I'd say hope is both a useful and necessary thing (evil.. or whatever word you want to use) till you (plural you.. doc and you) find the right thing that will work.

Where ever you're able to find it from... do try to stay strong and determined.

Thinking of you,

TJ