Maybe I am the only woman on earth to think this way, but to me what would attract me to a man is who he is on the inside. That is more important than anything else.
I think you do have at least some self esteem or you would not frequent this site. Kudos to you. Every one here is struggling with something or here to give some support.
If you are not in psychotherapy, well, it is a real blessing to me. Try it. Give it at least six months.
I struggle with my appearance too. I had surgery on my jaw and sustained significant nerve damage. I am almost 53, but look at least 65. It hurts to know this. But, life goes on. Every day is a new day to try. Sometimes, my emotional pain is so bad, I have to literally give my self a hug, and say "Love ya girl".