The thing is, perhaps your mom also has problems with her anger as well. Or maybe she has underlying issues that you don't know about or she has never addressed.

The thing is, she shouldn't yell at you and you shouldn't yell at her. But it should not be her thought process to say "I shouldn't yell back because of how he will respond." It's your job to work on your response. It's her job to learn healthy reasons not to yell at you and healthy ways to express her anger. It's a two way street.

But, it's also not your job to make her respond differently. It is your job to work on your response. You really are not a victim of yourself unless you allow it. Being aware that blowing up at your mom isn't healthy for either of you is a great first step.

Last, I have to say we always have to be prepared that people won't take the steps to work on themselves. They will play victim or the blame game. In this event, it's especially key to work on our responses and be mindful of escalating situations.

My advice is talk to your mom when you are both calm and express that you think working on healthier ways to resolve conflict will help both of you. See what she says. It's a long road but it is possible.