I am currently off sick from work due to a breakdown in January where I was admitted to hospital. I then attended a day hospital and am now in pre-treatment DBT, but starting a group session this week.

I have had two meetings with a occupational health doctor who was very nice said I will recover but need support and flexibility to attend the therapy which my line manager is happy to support.

I have had one sickness meeting with my line manager which was fairly informal. I now have a formal meeting with head of service, HR and department manager. I have already contacted my union to get representation and my local mental health advocacy service to get advice.

I spoke to my line manager this morning who said she wanted the meeting delayed but the department manager said he has to schedule it due to procedure. She said I won't be fired as I am planning to come back, am getting better and am doing everything I can to recover and have already discussed a phased return with them.

I am still afraid as I want to be able to work, its good for my confidence and of course I need a wage coming in. I am trying to be positive but its hard. I keep thinking all 'what ifs' .....what if I have another breakdown, lose my job, lose our house, marriage suffers etc etc....

I just want to cope like I see others cope, I'm fed up with being at the whim of anxiety, paranoia and tears!