I'm not completely sure, tbh.
It comes down to two concepts...
- I think it is mostly the fact that I have hope... hope that tomorrow will surprise me. Hope that I can't get rid of, no matter how much I hate it. It's ingrained into my personality... I like weird, love random, but hate surprises... yup, hopelessly filled with hope.
- F**K THIS! When thoughts of suicide pop up... that is the following thought... F**K THIS!! Depression is a stubborn foe, but I've lasted this far, and I'm not letting it win. No one and nothing is more stubborn than me.
Everyone dies.. so it's going to come one day, but I WILL NOT do Fate's job for it. "Fight the breaking of the dawn," and all that nonsense. If I'm going to die anyways, why not try one more thing?! It's not like I have anything else to lose...