I am sitting here in my apartment because I feel unable to go out and manage things right now. I realize this is not my fault, and I'm making myself do the necessities. I have children that I split time with their father, and I am trying to get an individual therapist through the mental health facility I go to and they have a weekly meeting you try to attend until something opens up.

But there are so many things I SHOULD be doing. And I feel so alone even though I have a relatively good group of people who care about me around. I spent time with my boyfriend last night but still felt alone and when we talked this morning, as I tend to do when I'm depressed, I brought up some of the things that I wish he understood but pretty sure he didn't. He's so amazingly sufficient and keeps it together....

It's funny how our brains betray us.