I do understand that only I can change my situation. I'm not asking for anyone to 'do' anything in that regard.
This forum is just my outlet to the 'outside' world. Of course, I have to keep this site secret, but I've managed that so far.
I really don't expect anything from anyone. This place just helps me feel less alone sometimes.
I appreciate all responses to my posts, whatever they may be. It just helps me to know even as isolated as I've become, there are still people out there. They may not be in the same situation, but everyone is dealing with something.