First off....you didn't even really know this girl since you never dated her & she turned you down without even being willing to date you. It isn't until after you really get to know a person can you really determine the things you think you determined about her.

What you think of her is imagined in your mind only by the outside vision you saw of her & the actions she let other people see.....you have NO IDEA what she was really like. You might have gotten to know her & she might have been the worst person you have ever known.

So the point....don't hold onto things that aren't reality even if your imagination tells you they are. Many people hold onto what they WISH would be or would have been that has absolutely nothing to do with reality. Coming to terms with reality.....using mindfulness is one place to start.

I met this guy in college.....he was nice....we got along.....we even decided after 6 months that maybe marriage would be a good thing.....however just a few months before the wedding....I came to see his true colors & attitudes that I knew were real problems for me......my mother liked him....told me it was normal to have fears before the wedding & that he would grow up when he had to......she was WRONG....I was right.......33 years later I finally was able to leave him for the same reasons I had for NOT wanting to marry him in the first place.

We so have to be in touch with reality & what things REALLY ARE....not just what we wish they were or hope they will be.....& when we can come to grips with that.....it's when we will be able to get through things like you are dealing with here.