Haha! I think you are me!

I so relate! I know you put out thoughts not questions so I feel free to just appreciate your "wonderful blurred slightly crazy mess". And I do. I think it is a beautiful blur and I could have written a lot of it at times.

I now accept my dx, love my meds, keep myself on the straight and narrow lifestyle path (blah).

It sounds like a new dx might be a great thing for you. A good starting point for new health and well being. Keep going to your doctor and keep taking your meds. This is an illness and a ****** one at that. But it does have its moments.