Hi Amy, it is really good that you're reaching out for the help you need. But I've just got to say DO NOT feel ashamed for what you did!! You were going through a really hard time, right?! If you had any other ways to cope with it at the time you would have used them, right?!
Now just focus on the way forward and seeing that those around you are helping you in finding more coping resources, you deserve that!!
Alison