For me, I had to get rid of the concept that because I failed, I was a failure. That took a lot of work, because from an early age my self-esteem was based on what I did instead of who I was. Once I separated my sense of self from my behavior, failure was easier to handle. It doesn't mean I can take it in stride--it still stings when I screw up--but I don't wallow in feeling worthless like I used to.