a charactistic of bpd is not getting over things and holding onto to insignificant things for a long time. (not saying your situation is insignificant but to non bpd suffers thats how it seems) i recently had a similar situation where someone in my family screamed at me at christmas and told me I was a disgrace and the black sheep of my family. to this day I will not go around my family at all...and i will never talk to her again. I got into a fight with her daughter who is 33 years old and she decided to stick her nose in my business. my family doesnt understand why im still so upset but I just cant get over it. I just try not to think about it..When I was with my ex husband I didnt want to be with him because of my own insecurities and then when he finally left and didnt want me I suddenly wanted to be with him even though I knew he was toxic for me. Its like a psychological game I played with myself. I know how you feel...you just gotta try to keep yourself busy and dont be afraid to cry. I cried for days and weeks. I started talking to other guys and thats how I occupied my time..