I wish I had the right words to properly support and comfort you. I'm at a complete loss. I cried reading your post. I'm scared for you. I do understand that you are not to blame. I hope you do, too. He took advantage of you when you were in an extremely vulnerable state, and made sure that you STAYED in that mind frame. You sound like you have little to no control over your life and/or safety.

I found myself having the urge to rescue you. I'm not equiped for such a maneuver, but there are womens' organizations that do it everyday. You might not be ready for you and your children to start a new life, but when you are... there are options for you.

Mean while, please, try to stay safe, stay strong and take care of yourself. Please, keep posting.