I think I've reached a point where I'm truly out of options that will help. I've been feeling intense loneliness and I think it's causing me to also feel physically sick now. Nausea and great pressure in my head...All I keep returning to is how I've failed to bring and end to my isolation, no matter how much I try to involve myself with other people. I feel so shut out it seems nearly impossible I still even exist. As if I'm not supposed to now.

It may have a lot to do with fear. How much longer can I really go on and it still be possible to thrive somehow? If it's already too late, there really is no point or hope. I have no relationships keeping me held to any belief my recover matters and I guess it's about time I stopped trying so hard and worrying about 'what if'. The worst is just about everyday now.

What else do you do when there is no one? I can't distract myself from it anymore. It's grown to be so painful remaining alone like this.