Sorry but this gets ridiculous sometimes...I just dont want to exist anymore but i know it is not the right path it would really hurt my brother and he is likely to get a job soon so I dont want to hurt myself and have him having to deal with it...I really hope he gets the job and I just love him so much so I dont want to hurt him by harming myself...My sister would be hurt as well but I feel she would cope better than my brother.