I was the one that left also.....7 years ago I moved 2100 miles away....but that was after 13 years of living in separate areas of the same house. We were actually married for 33 years even though the last 13 were living in the same house but separate areas of the house.

I have felt absolutely no grief in leaving.....& the only thing I can think is that I never loved him from even before we got married.....he had some attitude issues before we got married that turned me off & looking back, I don't ever remember feeling a feeling of LOVE for him. Even though we have a daughter together......I truly don't remember every having feelings of love.....I was angry even when I found out I was pregnant because the one thing he said (about quitting college for a few years) went completely against what I had stated as marriage conditions before we ever got married. I actually was so angry I kicked him out then.

With all the fighting that happened in the marriage....my life was finally so peaceful & had no grief to feel in was nothing but complete joy. Any feelings of friendship I might have had at the beginning of the marriage had actually turned into HATE before I left....& I was literally seeing red every time I fought with him. It was a fight to get him to communicate in our marriage....& he never communicated after I left & I didn't miss him in the least which truly made me know that at least the separation was permanent......then the things he did after I left like not telling me about the IRS back taxes he had messed up on my inheritance....& not telling me about not paying the property taxes or the house payments even though my name was still on the property........those were the final nails in the marriage coffin & definitely only reinforced the hate I had been feeling for him. I think when I finally get the divorce final (out of state divorce isn't the easiest thing to do) I will be in full celebration.....never having felt one moment of grief. Our daughter is fully supportive of me even though she does love her dad.....he never communicates with her any more then he communicates with me.......it's like he's completely shut down.......but then again.....with more & more information I read of Asperger's....I'm almost positive that he's somewhere on the spectrum.......as one T commented about it when I first moved here & was telling him about some of the things I had gone through in my marriage especially after the IRS situation.......can't DX from just things like that.....but the more I read & look back at his behavior....the more it seems to be an accurate fit in many ways.....it would also explain the attitude issues I had with him before we got married & the fact that if his mom made food he didn't like he would storm out of the house & go eat at McDonalds......I told him if he ever did that with me....the door would be closed & the locks would be changed & he would NEVER be welcome.....at least that sunk into his head.