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Originally Posted by 2much2give2die
Well, I know it can't be good for him.I mean he can be "ready" and then lose it when we get started.And it usually doesn't come back.I have always been one to research any medical issues I encounter that interest me or concerns someone I know.i don't just read a couple of articles either, I read all types of info and compare notes to see what seems to best knowledge on any given subject. From what I can understand his is caused from first age, then alcohol use and probably some form of heart disease. The latter runs in his family but he hasn't had any diagnosis. He won't even consider a Dr visit.He has asked me to check into otc supplements for men.I didn't find anything good about them and they even sound dangerous. I have to tell him what we're both experiencing is normal.We still have great loving, it's just not as often as he would like.It is different from what we had 30 years ago . That's to be expected. I just don't get the why he insist we try so often . That's one of the reasons I have just went along when he thinks he's ready.I want to take care of my man but he never seems satisfied.No matter how good or long it lasts.It seems the more we do the more he wants.If we have a nice little afternoon, he wants to turn it into a all-nighter.It is so complicated it is just driving me nuts. I know alot of the problem is his, but he is mine so I have to do whatever I can to help him.I think that's the thing, I keep forgetting to think of myself until I get annoyed with him.As much as I love him, some days I don't like him.If that makes any sense.And it's hard to be intimate with someone you don't like.We've been together to long not work through this but I just wonder somedays how to do that . I'm glad I can come here and get new insights and different views from different people. It is helping me sort through some of the things I don't understand. Thanks for the responses, they are helping. Today has been better than yesterday and yesterday was better than the day before.I am making progress. Again, thanks for the help.
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I'm really glad you guys are making progress.
You mentioned that he doesn't want to go to the doctor and that's a dead give-away that he's fighting denial and acting out inappropriately. OTC stuff usually only tries to raise testosterone so if anything that would cause him to become more aggressive.
Have you mentioned counseling to him? It really sounds like he needs to talk to a counselor, maybe as couples and definitely individually. Many guys will deny having problems or try to hide them or make up for them and it's unhealthy (as you're seeing). It's not about saving a marriage, it's about reconnecting and making it stronger. I would hope he's open for it, but this sounds like an uphill battle.