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sidony said:
Thanks for all the comments! I'm glad other people can relate (okay, I'm not really glad anyone feels that way, but at least you can know where I'm coming from). One of the things I end up talking about in therapy is how I sometimes suppress my own needs when I'm around someone else (like I think other people's needs are greater than my own) and then I lose sight of what it was that I really needed in the first place.
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That sounds like a self-esteem issue, Sidony. I read a good book on self-esteem a few years ago called The Six Pillars of Self-esteem by Nathaniel Branden. One of the "pillars" is self-assertiveness. To paraphrase Branden:
Self-assertiveness means honoring my wants, needs, and values, and seeking appropriate means to fulfill them. It’s the willingness to stand up for myself, to be who I am openly, to treat myself with respect in all human encounters. To merely hold values is not self-assertion - to pursue them and stand by them in the world, is. It’s about not having a bit part in my life - it’s being the leading man. To practice self-assertiveness is to be committed to my right to exist; I am not here on earth to live up to someone else’s expectations.
I got a lot out of that book and I'd highly recommend it.
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I'm doing group therapy now (been going for about 6 weeks) and naturally I feel like I have no personality in the group.
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I was in group therapy six or seven years ago. It was kind of rough, but it was good exposure therapy for me. I suffer from social anxiety and speaking in a group was good practice.
As far as your personality, you have a nice personality her on PC. All you have to do is bring it out when you are in the group. Just remember to play the leading role in your life. As you're walking through the door, tell yourself, "This is my life and I'm the star of my life." It helps me, anyway.
