Hi mortlake, first of all you are not alone!! We're here for you!! And that connection you need right now......well you know that there are plenty of people on here who can completely get "where you're coming from"!!
And this bit "no matter how much I try to involve myself with other people. I feel so shut out".......well why should you (why should anyone?) make all the moves in forming those connections? It should be others as well as you trying to "bridge that gap" right?
Sure you may have to open the doors a bit to let them in, but they need to be part of that too.
So firstly you: I'm not suggesting you try to go all out/go all the way as you may have been trying to do, but do you think you could throw just a little more of you into conversations? How you're feeling, what you really think, what you really want, what you really need........?
Sometimes people might not even know that there's something/s there to understand in the first place, let alone be able to move from first base in working towards actually understanding without some real clues of what's really going on for you. I know the isolation you're feeling must make it really hard but that's sometimes (not fair I know, but....) going to need to come more from you.
So maybe just a bit more..........in letting them see you??
Socially, now that's a bit different, but maybe give yourself plenty of time for the connections to come, just because they aren't there now doesn't mean they can't be built on little by little by little...............And there are different things you can try too just as paynful said.
And you know I'm going to come to them!! If people are going absolutely nowhere to helping those connections/to "bridging that gap", then I'd say you need to be looking further for others who are going to make a bit of an effort, who are going to be interested in you, who are going to care. And they are out there, even if it just starts for now with us, you know you're not alone!! We're here for you!!
Alison