I relate to the symptoms being worse on meds, and quality of life declining on them too.

Its heartbreaking, I read your story and its like looking into yesterday's mirror.

Don't give up, except for your pdoc though, definitly give up on him. The fact that he wants to mess around with your brain chemistry every other week is scary. Sounds like he thinks his meds are magic and should work instantly.

I'm really sorry youe going through all this