My ED is coming back hardcore. And at this point I almost want it back
I havent eaten in 5 days (which I'm sure is nothing to most of you)
Nothing. Zero. I've been living off of water, vitamins, cigarettes, diet energy drinks, diet coke and coffee.

I'm so scared to eat anything at all, now that I'm on a 'roll.'
I'm a recovered anorexic. Too recovered (read:FAT)
I got down to 100lbs at 5'9 when I was 18 (im 22 now), which I know it's not THAT bad, but still, I worried a lot of people. Let's just say I dont weigh that little anymore, ugh.

My moods have been going all over the place the past week. For the most part I have been SO angry I want to do major harm to someone or myself. I am Dx Bipolar, but I can't decide if it's the biploar or the not eating that is making me so up and down constantly. One minute I'm singing and dancing (literally), the next I want to scream and yell and punch, and the next I just cry and want to cut and do myself in finally.

This not eating is, for the most part, just giving me a high like you wouldnt believe. Like I havent had in a long time. I can't tell if I'm manic or just starving.

Here's the point to my post, I have an appointment with my Pdoc and therapist this week (tomorrow in fact)...... should I tell them I'm not eating again? I'm afraid of what they will do or say. It's not like I'm underweight or anything, but I'm still afraid they will freak out.

Now I'm bulemic/pseudo-anorexic with all my purging and restricting. I want to quit, but I dont, can anyone relate? It's a vicious cycle, to say the least.

Any advice (besides just telling me to JUST EAT) would be much appreciated.